Things I'm Not Allowed To Think About.

When people tell you that becoming a parent changes everything, it's true. But I never realized the dark side of this statement. Like the anxiety and worry that become a part of your every day existence. Like the times that you watch the evening news (or America's Most Wanted or Law & Order: SVU or anything else vaguely apocalyptic) and feel the world closing in around you. It becomes a daily exercise in worst-case-scenario mind control. And it's easy to see how parents go right off the rails and put leashes on their kids. Given this, I've begun to identify things I'm no longer allowed to think about.

1. Child abduction

2. Pedophiles

3. Childhood cancer

4. Bullying

Recently my list has expanded to cover non-parental items, like:

5. Spiders in the bed

6. Justin Timberlake's success

7. Lunchables®

8. Karl Rove

Try creating your own list. It makes life feel like Disneyland—worry-free and —here it comes, wait for it—Goofy.