Take 'em Off.

Since we are now knee deep into Walker's 2nd year of living, I've been thinking a lot about all the stuff you read when you're pregnant and when the baby is still new and little. And, I have to tell you, I think there is a whole "nature" (vs. nurture) part of the equation that is just plain missing. There are a lot of child rearing philosophies that I think are interesting or sensible or have merit, but I don't subscribe fully to any of them. I sort of pick and choose what seem like good ideas or sensible suggestions. But I can't believe how many philosophies would have you believe that if you don't breastfeed for 2 years or massage your kid daily or feed him only organic food (okay, all things I believe in on some level ... so probably bad examples), you are guaranteed to raise a mistrustful, unsociable, violent little crank that will roam the countryside looking for cats to kick. Very few books and magazine articles -- or just the plain everyday parents you end up meeting -- seem to address the fact that on some level we all just show up on Day 1 being the person we will always be. It's like all parents are afraid of being blamed but they definitely want the credit if things turn out well.

Jon and I have been pretty aware that from the minute Walker arrived that he has been on his own little individual plan -- a plan that we are not privy to nor can we take credit for. At 3 months, after endless nights of crazy schedules, waking every few hours, marathon walking & rocking torture sessions trying to get him to nod off, he just decided that he'd start going to bed every night at 7:00. And that's what he did. It had nothing to do with us giving him baths, reading him a book, singing to him, blah blah blah f-in blah. He just did it on his own.

Then there's a whole other part of the story, where we've been in neverending wait mode for all the typical milestone-ish stuff like rolling over, crawling, pulling up. Not only has he had real physical challenges with his foot (um, surgery, casts, and braces will tend to slow a kid down) but personality-wise, he just wasn't interested. I remember trying to put him on his tummy last summer and he would scream bloody murder, like I was hanging him upside down while sticking him with a fork. It was utterly ridiculous. You just can't get that kid to do something he's not interested in doing. And when he starts doing something, he's tentative and careful. He wants to make sure everything's cool -- and even then he needs to think about it. It made me think a lot about my own milestones and how I did everything so late that it worried my grandparents. As my Grandma Arrow says all the time (usually after she asks if Walker is, in fact, walking yet ***ironic name alert***), "Well you walked so late AND LOOK HOW BRIGHT YOU ARE." ... as if I still feel badly about it.

So I crawled at 13 months.
Walker crawled at 13 months.
Okay, "crawled" is just too clear of a description for what he does. It's more like he drags his body weight across the floor using just the questionable strength of his little baby boy arms. I know this is called "commando crawling" but it seems more like "dead man's drag" or something. In any event, he's finally doing it.

It occurred to me a few days ago to ask my Mom how I crawled. Like I know I crawled real late but did I hitch myself across the floor like a monkey (a popular mode of transport amongst the babies in my family) or did I just full-on crawl, tummy up off the ground and on all fours. This was her response:

"Up on hands and knees, scooted first.  Then one day while grandma and I were in the kitchen at 17 Sidney Ave. you simply got up and walked across the floor!  We just looked at each other.  By the way, you did the same thing with riding a bike.  While everyone else your age wanted their training wheels off so they could ride into trees, slide on sand and destroy themselves, you would have no part of it.  You wanted the training wheels on for a longer time.  Then one day you said, "take the training wheels off", you took off and never looked back and never fell."

I love this. I'm absolutely still that person. Okay, maybe Walker does have his own little plan but maybe I can take the credit (maybe, just a little) for his late bloomer individualist streak. And I'll give Jon the blame for the fact that that kid would rather eat glass than give in to sleep. Yeah, that sounds fair.