Back Off Snuggles.

Sunday night I had visited up on me the worst nightmare I've had in months. It had all the typical nightmare elements like:
1) I was afraid
2) I was either crying or constantly on the verge of tears
3) I was screaming phrases like "This can't be happening!" and "This is NOT happening!" and "How can this be happening?"
4) And no matter who I tried to communicate with, they just looked at me blankly or ignored me altogether

So why when I woke up on Monday, realizing that my nightmare had been just that, did I burst out laughing? I'll tell you why, because my nightmare was about someone giving me a PUPPY. A cute, wiggly, happy, finger licking black puppy. She was a on a cute little leash and she was pleased as punch to have me as her owner. And me? I kept screaming all the aforementioned phrases along with "THE LAST GOD DAMN THING I NEED IS ANOTHER DOG." ending with the obvious "THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!" At one point I even remarked, "I've gotta get this dog outside, I bet she needs to go." and right then she peed all over me. I'm pretty sure that even in my nightmare I remarked, "Awesome. She just peed on me."

Having a nightmare about a puppy is like being afraid of getting attacked by butterflies or squeezed to death by the Snuggles bear. It's just ridiculous. I really need to get off the Sudafed.